Baby steps

Taking baby steps.

When I think of baby steps, I think of my little girl, all cute & smiley, with little chubby legs, big eyes maybe brown or blue, little curls of  black hair, holding mummy's hands as she gets all excited and takes her first baby steps, she struggle`s & wobbles but try`s so hard, she wants to go faster and you can see the determination in her little face, my little girl if she could she would even run but she wobbles and falls. My little girls first baby steps would have meant the world to me, bursting with pride, taking photos to show the world of my girl, my Kyla taking her little baby steps.

Now I realise these baby steps that should be what I imagine above of my baby, are my baby steps .
Struggling to put one foot in front of the over, wobbling, wanting to run but I cant, I just cant.
I'm determined but its hard, people hold my hand but only for a while, I feel so lonely with these steps.
But these baby steps I take in a way do mean a lot to me, each step I take is a little stronger, I go a little further each time, sometimes I fall again, but sometimes I don't, I put one foot in front of the other and I try.
That's what bereaved parents do, we try, we try and carry on, we try and be ok in this big world, but we are taking baby steps again, because its so much harder now.

I don't really like taking baby steps, I used to take strong striding steps, but not now.

The loss of a child rocks everything onto another level, its the hardest most difficult journey to ever walk and baby steps are the only way.
Don't run ahead when your not ready too, don't try and take big steps when your not ready too, wobble and fall & know that its ok, take one step at a time, don't hurry your self.

To me this time is precious, its my time, our time, to fall and pick our selves up, grieving our babies is what we have to do, you cant ignore it, as the people around you do, they carry on with their steps, the steps they know and take no differently, but our steps are our healing steps and their new and different and scary for us, but they are precious on our journey ahead.

Just take baby steps.

Sometimes we take two steps forward

And one-step back

Some of us take baby steps

Some of us take giant steps

But the secret is not to let that

one step back turn into a failure
Learn from backward steps
And keep on stepping forward in this dance
Called life