Sometimes you have to pray & ask god to help you, I`m not really religious, I want to believe and I want to have faith, so today I took my special cross in my hand, and I held it tight, I asked for god to help us and asked him to make us believe, re store our hope and faith. Today I pray he heard.........

We have started the journey again, trying to get pregnant, its only been a few months since we lost you our perfect little girl, we want more than anything to be blessed with a brother or sister for you.
I think we need this more than anything, we want a family, we have an angel the most perfect angel Kyla Sian, it wasn't what we planned, Id give the world for you to be here but I know that you cant be and wont be & we hope and pray that we can have a baby, to help us heal a little and create our family.
I have had my bloods done daily, since Monday, and today I was called in to do the IUI, fingers crossed the timing is right, and a miracle can be created.
It was the same room, the exact room over a year ago, where we had the same procedure and my baby girl was created, our miracle, our blessing. Being in the room, led on the bed, nothing had changed in that room since a year ago, only our journey, our story....

And now its all being done again, with our angel baby I hope by our side or watching from above.
We will find out in 2 weeks or so if it has worked.........I pray that is has.
But I`m a believer in what will be will be, if its meant to be it will be.
I also think with all the shit cards we have been dealt, we deserve a happy ending.......

A rainbow baby :-)

This rainbow appeared yesterday, I thought of it as a sign, a sign that things will be ok. that your ok my gorgeous girl.
There was a guy with his daughter, they stopped right next me, they had a little puppy, the puppy was playing with my dog Summer, I called Summer`s name and the little girl said "is that your dogs name?" , I said yes, she smiled and said her name is Summer. Then she called her dog, her little puppy dog, the name was Charlie, call it coincidence, but from the word go, me & the hubby always said, we will have a boy and we love the name Charlie.
When I got pregnant we used to call the little jelly bean Charlie, we thought it was a boy. Of course it wasn't it was our beautiful daughter, but when she said her dogs name and the rainbow was amazing me at the same time, I did think, is this a sign????