How beautiful & perfect ARE you, where you...I hate saying past tense, I want to keep you here in the now, so its are you :-)
We are happy very happy, the lovely people from SANDS Rodney actually the AMAZING most kind hearted bravest people I have met, did your beautiful castings for you and us.
They have given us a part of you to cherish forever. What special people to do this in their own time, they came and held you and had cuddles with you, they said how beautiful you are & was so amazed by the amount of thick black hair that covered the back of your head. I didn't know they had been to see you, to do this after you came back from the coroner, it makes my heart fill with warmth to know you had cuddles, when I thought you was alone.
The casts brought me tears of joy just to be able to see your feet, all the creases and cracks and even your nails & how big your feet are, just like your mummy you had big feet and long toes.
Your little hands, wow, I can put my little finger in-between your thumb, its like your holding it.
I like to put your hand on my heart when I cry for you, I feel close to you when I do this.
Seeing your casts was great but very sad, it brings it all into reality, this is it, we just have memories now and there wont be any new ones just these ones, but these ones are the ones we will cherish for the rest of our lives always.
Now I wonder, the talk about the stages of grief, one of them is accepting, is this me accepting....I`m not sure, I know you have gone but it still doesn't feel right, my heart and body long for you & the pain I feel all day hurts, in a way maybe I`m stopping myself from accepting it....confusing times!
You would be 10 weeks old nearly, I think about you all the time, what would you be like, would your eyes have changed colour, what would it be like to bath you, how cute you would look in all your pink clothes, I think how cold it is in the house and that I would have 10 hats on you, 10 blankets wrapped around you, I wonder what Summer the woofter would be like with you (I think she would love you like crazy and be protective of you) , I just think about you....my girl.
You was my everything for so long, I fell in love with you when you was just a little spec on a screen, I watched you grow in my belly, read every week about how you was developing, I never really panicked because I thought you`d be ok, I thought we have made it, we will have our little family, you did so well growing in my belly, and I was so proud of you the way you fought all the way at the end, Kyla you gave us precious moments and sweet memories & we will cherish these and you always.
Stay safe my girl, we love you X X X
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