The 22nd June 2013, has to be the happiest day (along with our wedding day of course) of our life.
The day we found out that we where pregnant, I will never forget that phone call.....
See we had been trying for a while, easily for 5 years, we had been going to a fertility clinic and began the process of IUI, the first attempt was in May, it didn't happen but then on the 2nd try in June, it happened! No drugs, nothing just a little helping hand to get us there.
When the nurse called me, I was at work, I had my bloods taken that morning, & was waiting on the results to see if I was pregnant or not....
I had pretty much convinced myself that I wasn't, but when she called & said "My dear, you are positively pregnant", I was in shock, I actually didn't believe her, I ran out of work, & got to the nearest chemist to buy a test.
I remember rushing home knowing that the hubby would be home any minute, I peed on that stick so fast, & waited for the positive line to show.....It did, makes me smile just thinking about it, I was so happy.
This was the day our world changed, expecting a baby, expecting a baby for life.
The first 8 weeks where so scary, I had to go & get bloods everyday for the first week to check my HCG levels had gone up, and I was so paranoid about everything, google was choice for all my symptom's!
The next 10 months where amazing, it was the happiest we had been in a long time.
Only it didn't end that way, it changed in the worst way possible, & that will forever be that way, this way, our beautiful girl an angel above, empty arms and a pain and ache permanently etched in our hearts.
Today the 23rd June 2014, I`m going to get my bloods checked, to see when I surge and when the best time would be to try the IUI, a year later, who would have thought we would near enough to the date be doing this again, we have decided to try again, & so it all begins....
How your life can change, how your world can be tipped up side down, it can happen & its happens, it happens In the blink of an eye.
Never expected the unexpected.
I hope my angel that you are with us and I hope you can help us be blessed with a little brother or sister for you, know you are our world Kyla, you was from that very first phone call when we found out, and you will always be our everything, I wish you was here & mummy could be your angel, that way I could watch you everyday & keep you safe.
Wish us luck baby girl, I think we really need it.
No one knows
No one knows the tears I cry
The pain that's so deep inside
It tugs at my heart
It takes my breathe away
I feel like my memories are fading away
A missing part
My girl, my heart
I feel like my soul is being ripped apart
I try to be strong
But I keep falling apart
Cus nobody knows the pain in my heart
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