Your first birthday, special memoires created, tears, smiles and laughter all wrapped into your day.
Now I can breathe again, its over, we survived it, and we had such a special day for you.
I don't know how many balloons where sent to you my girl, me and daddy let some of at the beach for you, we left you little messages in a bottle and sent them off in the sea so you can go travel the world by the ocean, we had a picnic and a yummy chocolate cake!
We had friends back home letting balloons off and you got heaps from my family back home too.
They all got together and had a little party and got lots of balloons and sent them off to you too, it was so beautiful! Your little cousin Kaitlynn had a balloon too and sent that up above to where you are, she will ask me if you got it :) ill tell her you caught it.
Of course it wasn't what we imagined at all & it was a very hard day but I learnt to acknowledge the day remembering just you, how beautiful you are and how special and beautiful those 9 months where carrying you. All I had to do was remember you.
I didn't have to torture my self with the memoires, going through each part of that day, I've done that and re lived it too many times over, I now understand I don't have to keep putting my self back there.
What I can do is remember you for your beauty and hold onto that love you gave us and cherish that.
I don't have to live in the pain I have a choice and on your day my choice turned out to be the best one. I laughed, I cried, I smiled, I day dreamed of you and held onto how much I love you and how much your mean to us.
I hope you saw it all my girl and was their with us.
I hope you caught all your balloons.
I hope you felt all our love.
Now and always.
X x x Mummy & Daddy X x x
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