Capture your grief - Day 9 - Remembrance

Capture your grief
Day 9 - In Remembrance
We created a special place inside and out, a place where we can sit and remember our little angel. In her room we have photos, we have her beautiful pink box full of our memories that we where lucky enough to get in such a short amount of time, her hospital things, lockets of her hair, scan photos.

Outside we created a little garden, it looks awesome at night all the solar lights surround it, its peaceful.
And the teddy is my girl, it carry's her wee ashes in the back
To this day it's so surreal, one minute she was in my belly, then in my arms & now she is in a urn in the back of a teddy, at least in a way I can still hug her tight.

 

Capture your grief - Day 7 - Sacred place

Capture your grief
Day 7 - sacred place

This is my Kyla corner
Its sacred to me in so many ways, this is where we sang to her many times in my belly, watched her kicking and moving around, watch my belly grow knowing our little girl was in there growing beautifully.
Now it's like my reflecting place, my peaceful place, I'm surrounded by her in this corner, it makes me feel close to her in ways.
It's my sacred place

 

 

Capture your grief - Day 6

Capture your grief
Day 6 - Books

Ok so this one is a little light hearted for today.
I was given this book from lovely work Mates, it's really funny & makes me giggle.
Of course I never would have read it to Kyla but it is a light hearted funny book & for today for capture your grief I hope this one can raise a little smile as i know we all need to smile an laugh through this hard emotionally draining journey

Capture your grief - Day 5 - Journal

Capture your grief
Day 5 - journal
When I found out I was pregnant my bestie bought me this journal, to write down all about being pregnant & too capture special parts of the pregnancy.
The beginning of the journal I can't even read anymore it hurts too much now, when Kyla died I moved to the back of the journal to capture my grief journey. Funny how the beginning is full of hopes and dreams and the back is the raw pain of loosing her. ...
I added the photo showing my last words while kyla was happy & healthy still in my belly which was written only 2 days before Kyla was born. Breaks my heart reading it, I had no idea it would end this way.

 

Capture your grief - Day 4 - Now

Capture your grief
Day 4 - Now
Now...now we are broken, now we know pure pain, now we have a beautiful daughter who is our world even though she isn't here, now we have an angel baby who lives with us everyday in our hearts, now we have a huge part of us missing and this will our forever.
Now we fight for our rights and we know now about Group B strep and spreading the word to prevent little babies lives from being taken way to soon. ...
Now we are wiser, we are braver, we are stronger, we are surviving.
We know not too take life our anything for granted, we are scared of what can happen and we know too well how it can all fall apart in the blink of an eye.
We know now what and who matters to us but out of it all we now know the amazing people who are in our lives that have stood by us and helped us to see a little light at the end of this very dark tunnel & we know how to appreciate our family and friends more than ever and how blessed we are to have them all.
Now there are 3 of us, only one has wings and watches us from above, and will always fill our hearts with nothing but pure love.

 

Capture your grief - Day 3 - Before

Capture your grief
Day 3 - Before

 

I love this photo, it was taken not long before we became pregnant, this was us before, before we knew pure heartache, before we knew what it felt like to have your world torn apart, we were innocent to grief and loss, we smiled true smiles, we had hopes and dreams that no one could shatter, we knew no real pain,we lived and loved life everyday.
I look back and think how innocent we was, we had no idea what our future held, I know we never in a million years imagined this.
One thing I love in this photo is just us, me and my hubby, one thing that hasn't changed is how much I love him and how he can still make me smile like this.

Capture your Grief - October 2014 - Day 2 - Heart

Capture your grief - This is I'm hoping a great healing event for the whole month of October.
October is Baby loss & infant loss awareness month and hopefully in taking part this helps raising awareness and helps me on my grief journey and my healing.

 

 

I missed day 1 which was a sunrise, so here is my day 2.

Day 2 - Heart

I have included this photo as a year ago today we found out our little bump was a baby girl, most happiest day of our lives.
I dreamed of dressing her in cute little outfits & having that amazing mother & daughter relationship just like my mum and me have & seeing Layton with his little Daughter his pride and joy his world. Happy memoires and happy dreams.